Butwayte Desmore, email

MY FIRST job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned; apparently I just couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I wasn’t really suited for it. It was just a sew-sew job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but in the end I found it left me with no thyme to myself.

I also attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I just couldn’t cut the mustard.

Then, after many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian – until I realised there was no future in it.