CROSS PURPOSES

Anne Gree, email

TWO nuns are travelling through Europe by car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny vampire jumps onto the bonnet of the car and hisses at them through the windscreen.

The nuns are terrified.

“Quick,” Sister Brenda tells Sister Kate.

“Turn the windscreen wipers on! That will get rid of the abomination.”

So Sister Kate switches them on, knocking the vampire about, but he continues to cling onto the windscreen, hissing at the nuns.

“What shall I do now?” Sister Kate cries.

“Switch on the windscreen washer,” Sister Brenda replies. “I filled it up with holy water!”

Desperately, Sister Kate turns on the holy washer fluid. The vampire screams as the water singes his flesh, but still he clings to the windscreen, hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” Sister Kate shouts.

“Show him your cross!” Sister Brenda yells.

“Now you’re talking,” Sister Kate replies. She opens the window and shouts: “Hey you! Get the hell off our car!””