Tadbitt Layte, email

ONE day Jim receives a distressing SMS from his next-door neighbour.

“Jim, I’m so sorry,” it reads, “but I’ve been wracked with guilt and have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, day and night. I don’t get it at home, but that’s no excuse.

I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies. I promise it won’t ever happen again.”

Jim is enraged – insanely so. He grabs his gun and shoots his wife, killing her instantly.

A few moments later, he receives a second text: “Bloody auto-correct! I meant ‘Wi-Fi’, not ‘wife’.”