Ariel Hornful, email

A MAN comes home completely drunk late one night. He stumbles through the door and is met by his wife, who is absolutely livid.

“And just where the hell have you been?” she demands.

“At thish new bar,” he slurs. “The Golden Shaloon!

Everything there ish golden! It’sh got huge golden doorsh, a golden floor – even the urinal ish gold!”

The wife doesn’t believe any of this for a second.

So the next day, she checks the phone book and discovers there is indeed a place called the Golden Saloon on the other side of town. She calls the number to check her husband’s story.

“Is this the Golden Saloon?” she asks.

“Sure is,” the bartender answers.

“Do you have huge golden doors?”

“Yep, we do indeed.”

“And golden floors as well?”

“Certainly do.”

“What about golden urinals?”

There’s a long pause. Then the woman hears the bartender yelling: “Hey Larry, I think I got a lead on the guy who pissed in your saxophone last night!”