Di Ettishuze, email

TWO men are sitting in the doctor’s office. The first man is holding his shoulder and grimacing in pain. The second man has tomato sauce in his hair, bits of fried egg down the front of his shirt and two sausages sticking out of his pockets. He asks the first man: “So, what happened to you?”

“Well, my cat got stuck in a tree,” the first man winces. “I went up after him and fell out. I think I’ve broken my shoulder. What about you?”

“Oh, it’s nothing serious,” the second man replies.

“I’m just not eating properly.”