Redmond, email

SO IF THEY do get rid of V8 engines in the Australian Supercars series, I wonder how much different the landscape of the races would be in the short period between no V8 engines and bankruptcy?

The promoter could get rid of steak sandwich and meat pie vendors and just have flavourless, boring imported rice, European boiled cabbage and cold topshelf German sausage. The amount of plumbing needed in the amenities block could be reduced by just having allfemale toilets.

The local councils could save on building huge car parks for race-goers by building just one a quarter of the size – enough to park 20,000 Priuses in.

The council would also be happy with the noise emissions reduction, though the flipside would be that they’d need to put a huge cyclone fence around the entire facility to keep out the flocks of nanas that would converge once they hear the dozy hum of so-sewing machines doing laps. We could also get Telstra to put 1000 Wi-Fi hotspots at the track so fans can stand trackside and stare at their phones and tablets.

Take AC/DC, take the V8, but you can never take my Holley!