A Mallard, email

THREE guys died in an accident and went to heaven.

When they got there, St Peter said: “We only have one rule in heaven. Don’t step on the ducks!”

So they entered heaven and sure enough, there were ducks all over the place.

It was almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they all tried their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally stepped on one.

Immediately, St Peter appeared with the ugliest woman the man had ever seen. St Peter chained them together and said: “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman.”

The next day, the second guy stepped accidentally on a duck, and along came St Peter with another extremely ugly woman. He chained them together and pronounced them joined for eternity.

The third guy had observed all this, and was therefore very careful where he stepped. He managed to go for months without stepping on any ducks.

But one day, St Peter came up to him with the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. St Peter chained them together without saying a word.

The guy said to the woman: “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?”

“I don’t know about you,” she replied, “but I stepped on a duck!”