WELL PLAYED

Albert Ross, email

A MAN out playing golf slices his shot off into the trees. But when he goes to find the ball he discovers a witch stirring a cauldron. He asks her what she’s brewing.

“A magic potion,” she replies.

Curious, the man asks: “What’s it for?”

“This potion will make the person who drinks it a fantastic golfer,” comes the reply.

Remembering the terrible shot he’s just hit, the man gets really excited and asks if he can have some.

The witch agrees but warns him that it will have dire consequences on his sex life.

So after a short period of soul-searching the man decides to try the potion anyway. Then he goes back to his game and plays incredibly. So good, in fact, that after he’s done he spots a golf pro and challenges him to a game. He beats the pro easily.

Delighted, the man then spends every possible moment of the next year playing golf all over the world, and has a wonderful time.

But after a year he finds himself back at the same course where he found the witch. Out of curiosity he deliberately slices one into the trees so he can talk to her.

“Well,” she asks, “how has your game been?”

“Great! This has been the best year of my life,” the man enthuses. “I have played all over the world and never lost a game.”

“And how about your sex life?”

“Oh, not bad.”

“Really? Seriously, this stuff really ruins your sex life. How many times did you do it in the last year?”

The man thinks for a minute. “Hmm, it was three or four times, maybe.”

“And you call that not bad?” the witch asks.

The man replies: “Well, not bad for a priest with a small parish.”