TRANSPORT ISSUES

Manny Lappsez, email

THREE men are standing at the Pearly Gates.

St Peter tells them: “God has quite the sense of humour, you know, and his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred kilometres from these gates.”

“How is that supposed to be funny?” one of the men asks.

“Well, God has decided that those admitted here at these gates will be given a vehicle to travel the distance to the Kingdom of Heaven. But the quality of your vehicle will be based upon how faithful you were to your spouse.”

Aware that God knows all, the men begin confessing their infidelity.

“I admit I had an affair, but I broke it off with the girl before my wife found out,” one man admits.

“Very well,” St Peter says, and gives him a bicycle.

The second man says: “I’ve never actually cheated on my wife.” St Peter regards him sceptically. “Okay, okay, there was this one time, but it was before we were married! I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing. But I’ve never been unfaithful since.”

So St Peter grants him a car, but it’s an old jalopy in terrible shape.

The third man says: “I’ve never been unfaithful.”

The other two stare at him in disbelief.

“No, he’s right,” St Peter confirms. “He’s been faithful the whole time.” So St Peter grants him a brand new Ferrari. The other two men can only gape jealously.

So they all set off for the Kingdom of Heaven, the man in the Ferrari zooming ahead of the other two.

But not far down the road, the man on the bicycle finds the third man pulled over at the side of the road.

He rides up to the Ferrari, where he finds the man sobbing into his steering wheel.

“What’s wrong? Is this machine too much for you?” the first man teases.

“No,” the third man replies. “It’s not that – the car is beautiful!”

“Then what’s the matter?”

“I just passed my wife,” the third man replies, “and she was on rollerskates!”