Mary Blaise, email

FRANK calls the police one day. “I’d like to report my neighbour Virgil,” he declares. “He’s hiding drugs inside his firewood. I’m not sure how he gets it in there, but he’s definitely hiding it there.”

So the next day, the police descend on Virgil’s house. They search each log in the woodpile and find nothing. Frustrated, they get axes and split each piece of wood open, but still find no drugs.

After a fruitless search, they finally leave.

Shortly after, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.

Virgil picks it up and hears his neighbour’s voice: “Hey, Virgil, it’s Frank. Did the police come?”

“Yeah, they did as a matter of fact!”

“Did they chop your firewood for the winter?”

“They sure did!”

“Happy birthday, buddy!”