Hugh Jappendage, email

A FARMER decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. When he got there, the ticket agent asked: “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

“Well, that’s my pet rooster, Chuck.

Wherever I go, Chuck goes.”

“I’m sorry sir, but we can’t allow animals in the theatre,” the ticket seller replied.

So the old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his overalls. Then he returned to the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theatre.

He sat down next to two old widows, who were named Gertrude and Beryl.

The film began and Chuck began to squirm, so the old farmer unbuttoned his fly so the rooster could stick his head out and watch the movie.

Gertrude noticed this and turned to Beryl, whispering: “Beryl, I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”

“What do you mean?” Beryl asked.

“He undid his pants and he has his thing out,” Gertrude whispered.

“Well, don’t worry about it,” Beryl replied.

“At our age we’ve seen ’em all.”

“I thought so too,” said Gertrude, “but this one is eating my popcorn!”