Dan DeLyon, email

A MAN walks into a bar and asks for two shots. The bartender says to him: “We have a deal going on right now. If you can drink this bottle of whisky in five minutes and keep it down for another five minutes, then go out back and pull the angry crocodile’s tooth out, and then lastly go upstairs and satisfy the woman that’s up there who has never had an orgasm, you can eat and drink here for free forever.”

The man decides he might as well give it a try. So he chugs down the bottle of whisky within five minutes, keeps it down for another five, then goes out back.

About 20 minutes go by, and all of sudden the people in the bar hear a series of blood-curdling screams. Then the man staggers back into the bar all battered and bleeding and very drunk.

He looks at the bartender and says: “Right, where’s the woman who needs her tooth pulled?”