Corby

THEM’S THE BRAKES

“I WAS ABLE TO THROW THE Z4 SAVAGELY SIDEWAYS. IN THE OLDEN DAYS, I’D HAVE SOUGHT THE ASSISTANCE OF THE HANDBRAKE”

WHEN IT COMES TO adrenaline injections of the unpleasant kind – the fight-or-flight kind hardwired into our brains to protect us from bears in the woods waiting to eat our forebears – you really can’t beat a car accident.

I recently lived through the biggest crash I’ve never had, an experience that left me shaking with panic and fizzing with fury.

The collision-course correction I was involved in hit me on a yawning Tuesday morning as a I rounded a pleasant city bend that I take a few times a week, into a lane protected on one side by a concrete barrier. The sub-human in front of me, driving, you guessed it, a Toyota Camry, decided to pull an illegal, un-indicated and borderline suicidal U-turn across two lanes, and around the barrier, right in front of me, even as I approached at I’m-going-to-own-this-bend pace in a BMW Z4.

It occurred to me later, during many moments of rewind and my previously preferred certainly have hit him, right two- reflection, that if I’d been on wheel conveyance, I would most in the passenger door, and would thus have unquestionably cars give you far more options to throw the Z4 savagely course, I’d have sought the the modern, button-operated nient, a safety failing if ever been hospitalised. Fortunately, in these situations, and I was able sideways (in the olden days, of assistance of the handbrake, but version is not so handily convenient, there was one).

Somehow, I managed to pull up my my vehicle, now at 90 degrees to intended direction of travel, right next to The Idiot’s half U-turned, accursed Camry. Without exaggeration, I believe we avoided swapping paint, and phone numbers, by less than a bee’s pubic hair.

My voluble and vicious review of this stranger’s driving abilities may have left him slightly deaf, even though he refused to wind down his window, but I felt entirely justified.

Still shaking as I pulled up at the next set of traffic lights, a man who had slid off Underbelly’s casting couch and into a gangster-looking Maserati pulled up next to me and shouted, “That was some amazing driving, I can’t believe that dickhead didn’t take you out.”

This led me to ponder what any other Australian driver might have done in a similar situation, the answer to which, in many cases, would have been to panic, grab the wheel like a life preserver and slam on the brakes, resulting in a solid and significant collision.

Yes, I was blessed with the good luck to have been driving willing to get sideways (it also extreme circumstances, systems like brown-paper underpants). a Z4, a vehicle that is entirely struck me that, in such AEB are about as much use as brown-paper underpants).

But what undeniably made the difference in the end was many hours of it I’ve done as a doing my job. driver training; the many, highly fortunate byproduct of doing my job.

In a world in which everyone was required to do even one tenth as much – a world like Germany, for example – it’s tenth as much – a world like G quite likely that a lot more accidents would be perhaps, ideally, The Idiot in me might have been trained head check before going full avoided. And front of to do a Suicide Squad on me. Anything is possible.